cute is what we aim for

I judged my family.
I didn't realize it, but I was doing it tonight. After the service and before the movie, when we stopped for food.
A) I immediately jumped to "This is why the nation is fat" and
B) I am better than this and will enjoy some fruit or something at home after the movie.

I'm still jealous of my friend. But now its shifted into shopping.

I don't like it.

I never really did. I mean, there was a time I could get into it. But I lack the coordinating gene inherent to my friends. Layer that onto the fact that I get irked easily (on that same note: DON'T go revamping classic carols to satisfy your need to attract a new audience. WE were frustrated that we couldn't sing along), and a lower self-esteem than I wish to admit, and shopping becomes something I hate because I have to examine myself in light of society.

Which I can usually avoid. Usually, I can go about my merry way and smirk at society's self-obsession with appearances. All that disappears when I venture into the world of apparel. I suddenly feel the need to get dressed to the nines, just to appear appropriate for shopping.

And I hate it.

Were I someone who could actually manufacture my own clothes, I would do it in a heartbeat. Then, I'd always find what I want instead of stumbling unwillingly from store to store.

Ah, the ramblings of someone not model sized and bitter...