stings and salve

I missed you.
And I can finally say it, mean it, and be able to go on.
I saw you Tuesday night as you replace props during intermission. I watched you, at first surreptitiously over the edge of my program, and then just blatantly, hoping against myself that you'd look up and see me in the balcony.
And it stung me.
And then came the horrible realization that something in me missed you. But that also spurred me on to realize I could learn and live, actually LIVE.
***
Tonight you helped me. And for once, and I hope not the only time, I listened to you instead of vice versa. I feel honored that you trust me and I'm thankful that our opinions align, especially on slander. I'm learning to accept that you hold the door or wait for me to walk first. I don't care how tired I may be for the rest of the weekend, this was the apogee of a long week for both of us.
Thank you for listening to and teaching me. I thank God you are my friend.

songs are the only form of sanity

don't breathe too deep
don't think all day
dive into work
drive the other way
just tighten those shoulders
just clench your jaw till you frown
just don't let go
or you may drown

everything was beautiful at the ballet
raise your arms and someone's always there
yes, everything was beautiful at the ballet

someday
when I'm all alone
when the world is cold
I will feel a glow
just thinking of you
and the way you look tonight

He says
come unto me
all who are weary and I will give you rest
bring what hurts
bring your scars
bring the loads that you carry
and I
will give you
rest

i'm not here for your entertainment

i resolve not to blame the others
just because i'm an easy mark

i'm caught in a trap when joy is approaching and i retreat
i'm a home with misery

you can always count on
bet a large amount on
you can always count on me

you and me together will be
forever you'll see
we two can be good company
you and me
yes together we two

if i had words...

September Song

So the past two days haven't been perfect, but I'm quite sure they couldn't get much better (hey look, you're getting a happy post for once!). I talked to friends I missed, I got through everything, I received funding, I enjoyed my friend's performance, it was very "I" centric but in all positive ways.
I just need more sleep. A week of up till 3 AM (not unlike Matchbox 20's song) is quite terrible, actually.